I like playing games I can win. But I often find myself playing a game that only ends with losing.
There is an innate nature deep within us that has an urge to compare. The comparison can be towards someone we want to be like or someone we hope never to be. Either way, there is no winner. Someone will always be on the “losing” end. When we compare ourselves to people we wish we were, it often leads to frustration and heartbreak. On the other hand, when we compare ourselves to those we’d rather not be, we look down on them with disdain.
Why do we make judgments like this? As a veteran at The Comparison Game, there are a few things I’ve learned while playing this silly game.
We compare because we want to be like someone else.
“Kobe!” The ball flies through the air, and…clunk! Another brick off the rim. Yeah, that was me as a youngster. I always wanted to play professional sports. My first dream was to play in the NBA.
Growing up, I tended to compare myself to professional basketball players. I always sought a way to be like one of these pros. However, my jump shot always missed the mark, my dribbling was subpar, and I lacked the confidence of a champion.
Comparing myself to the professionals only left me with heartache and frustration. I felt like a worthless failure and finally realized I wasn’t made to be in the NBA. Chalk it up as a loss.
We compare because we want to be better than someone else.
My “big league” aspirations didn’t end with the NBA. A few years later, my eyes were set on the PGA Tour. I worked in the golf industry for 10 years and played daily. The only time I left the golf course was to sleep or brush my teeth, both of which I didn’t do often.
Golf was my life’s focus. I strived to be the best and compared myself to those who weren’t as “good” as me. I didn’t want to waste my time playing with anyone who couldn’t keep up. So, I shut out and avoided playing with others if their skills didn’t compare.
Looking down on people didn’t help me get better at golf. It actually made me worse. As I pushed people away, I slowly became lonely and prideful. I suffered another loss to The Comparison Game.
We’re playing a game that can’t be won.
No matter which way you play this game, you can’t win. You will be disappointed. It took me years to realize that YOU don’t compare to anyone else.
God created each one of us uniquely. We each have different gifts, talents, passions, and life experiences. Though we have similarities and common interests, we are not the same. Comparing ourselves to each other is foolish.
This guy named Paul wrote many of the letters we find in the Bible. He had no doubt played The Comparison Game in his time. And by the words he penned, we can see he eventually figured out the truth.
“Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.”1
Paul had an elite status in the Jewish community until it was all stripped away. He played The Comparison Game, and the people he played with not only lost the game, but they also lost their lives. Paul spent the prime of his career chasing down and killing Christians. He compared them to himself, and if he found them to be losers, he took their lives.
Until God stepped in.
Paul (also known to many as Saul of Tarsus) had an encounter with Jesus that changed his perspective entirely. He realized he was playing a deadly game he had no business playing.2
We all play The Comparison Game until we have an encounter with Jesus.
I remember the day, time, and place Jesus grabbed my heart. My eyes finally opened to this terrible game I was playing in my life. He helped me to remove the burden of comparison and look only to Him for satisfaction in life.
It’s hard work to stay away from comparing myself to others. But I’m grateful to have another set of words from Paul that act as an important reminder:
“I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.”3
I often catch myself still slipping back into The Comparison Game. Though it may not involve sports now, I compare myself to others by what they have accomplished professionally, how they look physically, or what they own.
Every time I play, I lose.
How is The Comparison Game going for you? Have you been swept up into it lately? If so, you aren’t alone. It’s a game that lures each of us in daily. The good news is that you can choose to step out of the game anytime. In fact, you can’t win in life until you do.
God created YOU with unique gifts, talents, passions, and experiences. These are not to be compared with anyone else’s. The more you strive to know Him, the more you will understand yourself and be able to fulfill the purposeful work He has for your life.
Stop playing the game of comparison and begin living a life of contentment and joy.
You were created to be YOU, not anyone else.
The BEST is yet to come!
-Joe
P.S. Do you know who God created you to be and what He is asking you to do with your life? Do you know the unique purpose of your life and work? If not, you will continue to walk through life with a heart that constantly compares and is never fulfilled.
I created an amazing resource to help you discover the unique purpose God has for your life. You can download it for free right here: 5 Steps to Discover Your Unique Purpose.
More ways to connect:
Galatians 6:4
Acts 9
Galatians 1:10